


God's Chosen

by TheGirlWhoHeldOn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Season/Series 11, Choices, Death-ish, First Kiss, God's Chosen, Happy Ending, Heaven, M/M, Resurrection, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 11 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWhoHeldOn/pseuds/TheGirlWhoHeldOn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's God's Chosen and dies as a result. God comes to him in the aftermath and offers a choice: Heaven or Earth? (Post 11x21. Also disregards the end of 11x21 and all of 11x22)</p>
            </blockquote>





	God's Chosen

**Author's Note:**

> So haven't written in awhile because reasons and hopefully this doesnt suck too hard. Also Cas is God's Chosen and people can fight me over that.

Castiel sat on a warm park bench. It was early May and the leaves were just beginning to bloom. The sun was hot, but not hot enough to sweat through his many layers.

Funny—he was wearing his old tan jacket and wrinkled suit. He hadn’t worn this outfit in many years. He had no problems with this of course. It was comforting. It was his equivalent to a sweater that humans wore to comfort themselves. It was also very peculiar.

He decided not to question it too much.

Castiel smiled gently at the children in the park. They ran around, giggling in the sun and huffing when their parents went to apply sunblock. He loved all the sounds. That was one of the things he loved about humanity. Artists and religious people compared an angel’s voice to power and beauty, but they never realized that their own kind were just as perfect. So much life conveyed in just a few noises. Noises that made them weep and pray and laugh and smile. They were amazing.

It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day.

Of course that peace was going to be disturbed.

“Hello Castiel.”

The angel froze. The air shifted around them, like it does when a storm is about to begin. However, there were no clouds in the sky or anything surrounding them. The scene stayed the same. It was the entity that was different.

He turned around and abruptly frowned. “Chuck Shurley?”

The bearded man smiled. “Yep, that would be me.”

“I did wonder what happened to you after that Apocalypse,” Castiel said faintly, lost in thought, “However I got a little…too preoccupied to look for you.”

“Ahh yes. Fighting bad guy after bad guy, being separated from both of your families, dying over and over again. I would say your schedule was well packed.”

The angel didn’t have an answer to that. He just tilted his head.

“I understand why you’re confused. The last you knew of me I was Chuck, prophet of the Lord. I should be dead at worst. MIA at the very best. By all rights and accounts there should be no way for me to access your heaven.”

Castiel looked away from him and back the park. As he watched the children, he sighed gently. It was obvious now. The glimmer on the edges of everything, the exact same sparkle in every child’s eye and the heavy sense of calm surrounding him screamed heaven.

He was actually surprised he hadn’t seen it right away. It was his old home after all. He knew every trick and every glamour heaven protected itself under. He knew its inhabitants and its uniqueness and beauty almost inside out. How did he not see?

“I’m actually surprised to be here. I thought the heaven that autistic man with a kite in it was what your heaven was going to look like. Or if we were still being sentimental, maybe the Bunker or the Winchesters’ car. This is new. To be fair though, you have always gone against expectations.” Chuck smiled fondly as he sat on the bench beside the angel.

“Who are you? Really?”

“I’m God.”

Cas felt a pain in his chest. Like someone had hit him with a fist right between his ribs. He struggled to breathe and to keep up his composure. His fists gripped his tan coat and suddenly he’d give _anything_ to be blissfully unaware again. He wanted to be immersed in his Heaven. He had always hated human emotions.

“Hey, hey, it’s all right. Just try to breathe okay? Deeply. In and out.” Chuck whispered soothingly. The area around them began to darken and gray, and Castiel distantly realized there were a lot of clouds in the sky now.

He found himself listening to his Father’s words. He tried to breathe through the knot in his chest. Even when it brought him more pain he forced himself to.

For reference, he remembered being human and his first bout of panic. He had been beside a nameless road. He had almost fainted because he couldn’t catch his breath. His situation had hit him too suddenly to stop the panic from descending. The newly human man had to bend over and lean against a tree. Thankfully, somehow, he got himself out of it. He learned how to breathe evenly on focus completely on that task.

This technique helped to bring his breathing back to normal.

“There you go. You’re doing great. You did always learn and adapt pretty quickly.”

Castiel’s heart pounded and he finally looked away from the park in front of him. He turned to fully, truly look at Chuck. _Any bozo can claim they’re God._ Dean’s voice warned in his mind.

But that warning was thrown away just as quickly as it was issued. The angel had no doubts when he looked at his Father. The space around him seemed to be electrified, repelling from him and yet coming _from_ him. His body shone and glimmered like Cas’ heaven around them. He was pure _light_ and Grace and beauty. Castiel had never seen anything more beautiful and every cell in him seemed to sing. He had no doubts in his mind.

“I don’t understand.” His voice unwillingly broke under the strain of his shock.

“I know,” Chuck nodded, his eyes looking sad and his happiness dimming just a little.

“Explain Father. Please.” Why did his voice keep breaking?

His Father knitted his hands in front of himself and looked at them. Cas has seen that look before. It was when Dean was mystified and didn’t know quite how to say something. He couldn’t quite believe that _God_ was struggling for words.

How could he blame Him though? It’s not as if he was very eloquent and calm. Everything in him screamed for explanations and peace and absolution and punishment and glory. It felt as if every part of him was in a war to be heard. Perhaps his Father felt the same way.

Or did he feel at all? Was he truly like his creations? The angel knew humanity was created in His image but perhaps there was that one fundamental difference? Castiel hoped not—if that were true, then at least he would have been blessed in that one way.

“I…was gone. I disappeared for a while to live the life I wanted. And then I came back to you all fighting to the death. It wasn’t pretty.” God grimaced, looking up briefly before looking away again.

“Wasn’t?”

Castiel’s stomach tied up in knots. He suddenly realized he couldn’t for the life of him remember whether he died or not to reach Heaven.

His Father seemed notice that. His eyes were full of pity when He answered simply, “Yes.”

“What happened?” He had to prod. He could no longer stand not knowing. The missing memories ate at him.

After the crypt, and after realizing how much he had lost to Naomi, he had become protective over his memories. He began to relish being able to go over them. To flip through them like his memory was a book and play them as if he were watching a video. He cradled the good ones close when surrounded by dismay and relived the bad ones during his darkest times.

When he became human and his memories started to slowly fade away, he spent many hours weeping. He couldn’t stand not being able to remember every single second of his existence. He hated how his mind discarded things it thought he didn’t need. He hated how some of his siblings’ names slipped away and the faces of those he had killed over his many years began to blur. Being that powerless to his own humanity was gut wrenching and humbling. While it did teach him an important lesson—try to not to let your mind stray too much into the past—it still shook him to his core.

When he became the husk of an angel again and his ability to remember improved, he almost wept again. This time in joy.

So the fact that he couldn’t remember much past becoming a vessel for Lucifer irked him. At worst, it scared him.

“Just know Castiel…You can stay like this. In your Heaven. You can watch the children and enjoy the sun. I can even erase this memory to keep it from lurking over you. Or I could tell you everything. It’s your choice.”

Choice. That’s what all of this boiled down to didn’t it? That was what caused all of this. His newfound free will. His ability to choose between Heaven and humanity. His siblings and the Winchesters. It was a choice as old as time for him. And there were no doubts as to what he would answer.

“Please.”

Chuck gave a small sigh and smile.

“The Darkness—Amara—had you. And Lucifer. He hadn’t been strong enough to kill her when he had the chance. So she captured him and used him to bait me. She also used you to bait Sam and Dean. She...tortured you both.”

As his Father spoke, he saw the picture in his mind. He _felt_ it. Every memory slowly played out behind his eyelids and he found himself lost in them. He felt the blade on him. He felt her power deep in his bones, tearing him apart. That was the reality; it was _his_ body. And while it was muffled, he could still feel and hear _everything._ It was so, so painful.

“I wanted to save you all. I didn’t want the bloodshed and the death. I tried so hard to make a plan that would do it. It didn’t work out how I wanted it to though. So Sam, the new prophet and I went to rescue you and Dean went to distract her.”

Castiel felt every part of his body tense. The fresh memories of her torturing him came to mind and he felt like he was going to be sick. If Dean had been hurt—

“He was fine. She had a special thing for him. When she realized what was happening, she took him and brought him to the cave where we were. Unfortunately we were still there.” God’s eyes turned sad.

“I stepped forward. I thought sacrificing myself would bring peace. Perhaps she would stop and you both would be free. Perhaps she would leave the rest of my creations alone. At the very least, it would appease my guilt. That is a part of me that I passed down to you I’m afraid—the willingness to sacrifice for the greater good, to the point of overzealousness. Unfortunately I didn’t also pass you down the fact that most of the time it isn’t as easy as that. That sacrificing oneself doesn’t solve most problems. It certainly didn’t solve this one.

“She took me and let go of Dean. I was willing to go without a fight but she insisted. She didn’t like the easiness of it all. So we fought. And you were fighting your own battles. You see, what I didn’t know was that the Winchester brothers had never planned on letting Lucifer leave the cave. They were going to save you. By death or by kicking him out of your body, it didn’t matter.”

“Did you have a fondness for him?” Castiel couldn’t help but ask. His Father looked defeated, with his shoulders slumped and his eyes downcast. He looked like someone who had fought as much as they could but hadn’t been able to do anything.

“He was special. Just like you. He was one of the few who had free will. And while I knew that had to potential for him to turn towards hatred and violence, I never _thought_ …” His voice broke for just a second and the leaves around them trembled.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” And to be honest, Castiel was. While he could never forgive the Morning Star for what he had done since his Fall, he could understand the pain of losing family.

“Yeah well, nothing else can be done. I couldn’t save him but I can save you.” And for the first time in minutes, God made eye contact with him, “You fought well. The Winchesters were worried about you at first. After the last time they saw you, beaten and broken, they didn’t know what to expect. And at first you didn’t even react to them or the summoning spell. But then…Dean whispered something to you. Whatever it was, it made you break free. You were able to tap into powers that come with being God’s Chosen, and you forced Lucifer out. The Winchesters captured him as he tried to flee. I didn’t know what they planned to do with him. They didn’t tell me the specifics. All I know is that Lucifer burned, and Amara came soon after.”

A silence settled between them for a few moments. God’s breath became labored and he had looked away again. Castiel recognized it—his emotions were taking hold of him. He could understand it well. His own emotions were hard to control at the moment.

His shock over Lucifer, his happiness of the Darkness having been beaten at last and his relief over Sam and Dean being okay. They were causing turmoil in his stomach and all he wanted to do suddenly was lie down.

Beyond all that though, there was a curiosity. This memory refused to come fully. He could remember scraps. Dean’s face, his brother screaming and a light he had never known going through him. He couldn’t sew up a full picture however. And that fact pulled at him in a way that made him shift on the bench. As much as he wanted to ask though, he didn’t say a word. Instead he waited for his Father to say something.

“It was a shock, seeing Lucifer fall like that. It was especially a shock when Amara fell soon after. We had been fighting but I had been undeniably losing. Conflict had never been my strong suit you see. And yet somehow she also burned.

“I didn’t connect the dots right away. I couldn’t even move. But then I heard Dean screaming your name and light consumed the entire cave. I had forgotten how much power lay within you. I knew that you would have the potential, being my Chosen and all, but I didn’t know how much pack you had to your punch, so to speak. You had grown stronger since I last reformed you.”

Castiel could barely take any of what He said in. Chosen? Power? While he knew logically it had to be true—the memories of light and Dean’s screaming seemed to back it up—he couldn’t quite process it. After all that time…he was still Chosen. He was still blessed. He hadn’t ‘fucked up’ in the eyes of his Father. It felt like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders. A burden that had been there a very long time.

“You wiped them both out and still had enough control to spare us. When the light disappeared, all we were left with was a dark cave and no Amara. Lucifer was gone but you and your body remained. You were only upright for a second before you fell. The moment it happened the Winchesters were running to you, holding you upright and calling your name. I think you were gone by then though. I gave you too much power. You and your vessel—“

“Body.” Castiel gently corrected. He had spent a long time coming to terms that he had an Earthly form, and that body was something that he took comfort in now.

“Yes, your body. Neither your body nor your Grace was strong enough to survive the impact. Dean tried to save you with CPR and slaps but it was too late. Even I tried to bring you back but your soul was reluctant. I can see why.” His Father cast his eyes around Castiel’s park, and he felt slight pride. It was beautiful. And even if it just was a replica, it was _his_ replica. It was his own and it had been a very long time since he had owned anything.

“My soul?”

“Of course. I always had a back-up plan for you. The plan was that the power within you, the one that would kill the biggest threat to my creations, would burn you out. At least _almost_ all of you. You see, the little part of humanity inside you? The one that created emotions and free will? It’s literally inside you. As with Anna and Lucifer before you, you had the inkling of a human soul in you. So small and so intertwined with your Grace that none of you knew the wiser. In fact all of your brothers and sisters have it inside them. It is just so very rare to access. Not impossible but extremely difficult.

“You three were somehow able to bring it forth. That was why Anna was able to be reborn again. That was why Lucifer became corrupt. You all were capable of extreme emotion and free will. Your brother and sister faced the harsh emotions—hatred and resentment. You were the first to embody _love_. I could barely believe it. An angel with the power to love so completely was my end goal and you somehow made it. It was truly a miracle, one that I can’t claim I created.”

His Father became overwhelmed with emotions again. This time was different though. He looked at Castiel with teary eyes and smiled wide. It reminded him of himself, of when he’d watch the bees and his garden after caring for it. Pride, happiness and peace filled him in those moments. And if _he_ was causing those in his Father…he felt as if he had fulfilled his destiny. He chose his own path and finally chose the right one.

“The only problem was, with so many emotions and experiences and love within you, it was too much for you to handle. It burned all of you. And I promise you, that wasn’t my intention. You were meant to live into old age with the Winchesters if I had anything to say about it. The problem was that I didn’t have a say. It was all _you_. And that was a first for me. All of my creation follows a certain guideline, a plan, but you diverged. You sacrificed one final time and it turned out good for all of humanity. The humans will be at peace for the rest of their years. And you could be as well, if you want. You can be at peace up here until this universe collapses on itself. Or…”

“You’re giving me the choice?”

God laughed. “Of course. It would be ironic wouldn’t it, if just this once I took your free will away. No, you will have a choice. Stay here or go back.”

“To Earth?” Castiel’s breath hitched and hope warmed his chest.

“Yes. You would be human of course. I also cannot promise you a happy ending. But I can promise the chance and the choice. It’s your call.”

Castiel looked over at his park and gave a small smile.

*

“Cas? Cas?!” Dean’s voice was hitching in panic now. He was holding his best friend’s body and was trying to keep himself from trembling. He was shaking Cas over and over, as if the angel was just asleep and one more shake might wake him.

They had already done everything they could. Dean gave him CPR and Sam checked his pulse. They tried slapping him and dousing him in the holy water Amara had kept by. He didn’t wake up.

It had been a few minutes since Cas had collapsed. The angel was so fucking still. His chapped lips were slightly parted from where Dean had been breathing into him earlier. His face was still broken and bloody from the Darkness’ tortures. His hair was as imperfect as ever.

Dean blamed all of those things for his reluctance to let go. He looked too alive still. He could be just knocked out. Angels don’t even have pulses right? So he kept him close while Sam stood by.

He knew it was all illogical. Cas wasn’t breathing or had a pulse. Who could survive a blast like that? One that killed Lucifer _and_ the Darkness? The atomic bomb wouldn’t still be intact after exploding so why would Cas? And when Dean yelled at Chuck to bring him back, he had just shaken his head and disappeared. If _God_ couldn’t even rectify the situation…

None of that mattered to him though. He _couldn’t let go._ He told his body that it was enough. That this was the part where he took the dead body and burned it. But his legs refused to move him and his arms couldn’t release the angel. So he didn’t even try. He held on even tighter actually.

Dean had been so sure it wouldn’t turn out that way. It was stupid but for a second he thought his life was like the movies. That, for once, his love would be enough and Cas would have stayed. Would have fought off Lucifer and lived. He had hoped for once.

Life wasn’t a movie though. He couldn’t save Cas and Cas couldn’t save himself this time.

Sam was touching Dean’s shoulder. While Dean couldn’t make out much of anything, including everything around him and even what was going on in his own body, he could tell his brother was trying to be both kind and urgent. _Sirens_ he said, _the police are probably on their way_ he said, _we have to go._

But something was tethering him to Cas’ body. And he didn’t know if it was supernatural or entirely, maddeningly human in nature; all he knew was that he couldn’t move. Even with Sam shaking his shoulder and grabbing his elbow. He felt frozen in spot.

 _Shock, probably shock,_ he told himself, but all the logic in the world couldn’t stop it. He was suddenly afraid that this was how he was going to live out the rest of his life—a frozen statue beside the corpse of his best friend.

And then he heard it. A _whoosh_ and Chuck was back. Beside Cas’ other side. He looked at His son as if he was the most amazing thing He had ever created. Dean was terrified that He was right in that regard. And he was even more terrified to lose the most amazing thing.

“Please save him.” He practically begged, finally able to feel his throat again. He began to hear his heart beat erratically in his own ears.

“I can’t,” Chuck whispered with a small smile, “He can only save himself.”

Dean was just about to ask what that bullshit cryptic sentence meant when he felt the shudder. He looked down and choked on his own breath when he saw Cas shudder in his arms before taking a deep inhale.

The numbness went away. He could feel every nerve from his head to his toe and they felt on _fire._ He could barely keep himself in on his knees.

“Cas.” Dean’s voice cracked and his body began to shake.

Castiel took another breath before opening his eyes. “Dean?” His voice was gravellier then ever and it was the best thing Dean had ever heard. Better then ACDC or the roar of his baby or even Sam’s laugh. Despite having God right beside him, he realized that that single syllable alone was capable of making him a religious man. And then he had to remind himself that that was the shock talking and he’d disregard all of it tomorrow.

“What did you say?” Castiel asked, breaking his thoughts and bringing him back to the present.

“What?” Dean asked, confused but not really caring. You see, he was at that bliss stage of resurrection. There were four stages one goes through when a loved one is resurrected. It went Shock, Bliss, Anger and finally Acceptance. He was happy to disregard anger at that moment.

“You said something to me. You said something and I was able to kill the Darkness and Lucifer. What did you say?”

Dean’s mind flashed back to that moment. Lucifer was obviously in charge of Cas’ vessel and it looked like he was going to stay that way. Dean refused to accept that. So he leaned forward, grabbed Cas’ shoulders and looked into his blue eyes, and whispered something. Something he had meant to say and never did. Something that he was terrified he’d never be able to say. Something that he _knew_ would bring the angel back to him.

In the present he said, “Please come back to me. I love you.”

Castiel lay there for a second. His eyes wide but unblinking and looking completely dazed. But then he sat up like a bat outta hell and kissed Dean full on the mouth.

And Dean had to say—he _really_ liked it.

It took Sam a full five minutes to untangle them and drag them out of the cave just before the police came in. Even despite that, as they drove into the sunset, they couldn’t let go. Best part was they didn’t have to.


End file.
